How big is your comfort zone?

I can easily describe my comfort zone through a list of dislikes. Large groups of strangers, small talk of any kind, uncomfortable sleeping environments and lack of control over my daily schedule to name a few. Over time I’ve gotten quite good at minimizing or avoiding these things altogether. However, in the past week I have moved to a city where I can’t speak or read the language, joined a new group of people my wife and I will be spending the next several months with and adopted a work schedule that has me staying up all night and sleeping half the day (on a very hard Taiwanese mattress). Definitely well outside my comfort zone.

Anyone who has ever read a self help book or listened to any number of lifestyle gurus knows that stepping outside one’s comfort zone is among the most widespread pieces of advice given, yet its exceedingly rare for people to do it in a dramatic way or on a consistent basis. Even as someone who consciously tries to improve himself on a daily basis, I rarely practiced this to any meaningful degree. Most of us know ourselves well enough to understand what gives us a sense of security in our daily habits and routines. Maybe the prospect of speaking in front of large groups makes us nauseous and sweaty (certainly true for me). Maybe we only like eating foods we know rather than trying something new (definitely not me). Maybe we choose to stay in our current job rather than seek a promotion or new opportunity because we have achieved a level of mastery (or complacency) that we know will take years to recreate (nope).

For me, despite knowing what I should do to expand my comfort zone, I've remained in my bubble and largely avoided situations likely to cause discomfort. Until now, that is. Moving to a city on the other side of the world is an extreme step, but I can already feel that the experience is shaping me in unexpected ways. I have had several meaningful conversations that opened my eyes to a different way of thinking. I have ordered food, asked for the restroom and picked up cold medicine without having any idea how to verbally do so. There have been multiple times where I have felt like a complete idiot, like this weekend when I inserted a plastic card into the slot on a bus instead of the cash like I was supposed to. Each of these “failures,” however silly or small they may be, builds confidence that I can handle unknown situations. Each time you do something that makes you sweat you know that the next time it will be easier.

You do not have to sell your home and travel indefinitely in order to expand your comfort zone. You can attend a meetup or join a networking group in your city. You can do Toastmasters. You can eat dinner at a restaurant far outside what you’d consider your normal cuisine. You can go on job interviews (for many one of the most painful professional activities) even though you aren’t actively looking for a new role. You can introduce yourself to a stranger or buy coffee for the person standing behind you in line. You can go to a Crossfit class and pick up a barbell for the first time. Pick something that you know will make you uncomfortable and just go do it. Don’t wait. Just do it.